I have been seeing a therapist to talk about my daughter who I have recently lost in September, and I am also attending group meetings as well. I’ve been told to keep a journal and write down how I feel. This is my story about what I have gone through.
No parent wants to hear the news that their baby had passed, I know
I didn’t want to hear it when I was told that my daughter had passed
and the placenta was detaching from the uterine wall. All the nurses
and the doctor were very good with me. It was one of the hardest things
I have gone through. I was 29 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I was
18 years old when I had gone through everything. After everything
started to settle down they had a naming service for her,
(Isabella Leighan West.) When I was able to leave the hospital I was
sent home with a box that had her hat and blanket she was wrapped
in, I added to her box with things of hers. It took me a few months to
open the box and go through everything that is in it of hers. I will
never forget the day I got to see my daughter it’s a day that changed
my life. The hardest part would have had to be saying goodbye
but I know when I chose the spot where I wanted to place her.
Picking a place was one of the most difficult things I had to do.
Putting her in the same spot as my grandpa was the best choice I
made because I know she is in good hands. After the funeral had
passed a piece of me was gone and a big part of her is still here with
me every day.
The hospital was the ones that informed me about butterfly wings and what they are all about. It took me a few weeks to finally agree to meet with someone and talk about Isabella and what happened. At first it was hard I didn’t want to let anything out I wanted to keep it all in. I have been going to group meetings and to individual counselling. As the months go on: since the loss of my daughter things are not the same, some days are a lot harder than others and some days I don’t feel like doing anything at all. I write in her journal everyday I talk to her like she is here. I know that I would not have been able to get through all of this with out the support that I have from my family and my friends.